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  • martindukes

"Shroom" for improvement

This, my friends, is a ‘mushroom’ and always will be, so why have I noticed it increasingly being referred to as a ‘shroom’ on the menus of certain restaurants and dining establishments? Typically these are the sort of places that insist on putting your meal on piece of driftwood of some sort, so that your gravy leaks off onto the table. I should like to identify the ground zero of ‘shroom’ and force its inventor to disclose why it seemed to them too much trouble to utter the full two syllables of the word. Are our nations now so thoroughly infantilised that only one syllable words will do? Are

menus eventually to be cleansed of every polysyllabic item for the sake of reducing the labour we must endure in ordering? How much energy do we save in pronouncing the cut down version of the original noun, and to what purpose? Where do we go from here? Can we expect pizza to become simply ‘zza’, moussaka to be cut to ‘ka’. What manner of idiocy is this? Make it go away. Rant over.

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